she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
you are never too drunk for berry picking
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Randomize
