Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
You made out with two different species that night
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
