At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
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