If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
