Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
