I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
