dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
Randomize
