what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
