So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
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