Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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