Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
