My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
