How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
I'm both gender and math confused
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Randomize
