I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
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She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
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You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
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