If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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