You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Randomize
