I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
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