Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
