are you still at the devil's house?
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
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