okay pat passed out under dana's car
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Randomize
