I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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