so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
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You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
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I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
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