This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
