Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
Randomize
