Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
