the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
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