Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
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