Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
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