HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
