i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
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