I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
Randomize