it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
Randomize
