People in love make me want to vomit
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
Randomize
