ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
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