She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?