If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.