She is in my trunk
I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
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Barsexuality is the new black.
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
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We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
What's dad's email?
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best