sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
These Are 23 Of The Most Uncomfortable Questions You Can Ask
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
The 17 Most Horrible Things Said To Online Daters
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad