she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize