I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Randomize
