3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
Randomize