You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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