**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
It's never too late to be topless.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
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