but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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