Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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