I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
I think a kid would responsible me up
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Randomize
