im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize
