I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Randomize
