Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Randomize