My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
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