maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
Randomize
