How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize
