turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
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