Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
