another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize