and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
I need to wash the frat house off of me
I need a hoe opinion
go on
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
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