do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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