Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
