Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
Randomize
