it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
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