I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
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