if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
What happened to fro yo and sex?
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
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