erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
