Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
He's a Shit stain on my heart
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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