Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
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