dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
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