Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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