He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
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