is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
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