And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
you made out with another girl for some wings
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
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