just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Randomize
