dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
